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My Radio Interview on Wrestleview International is Now Online

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Click here to listen to interview.

Like I mentioned in yesterday’s post, my Ignite talk “The Summer of Punk” has been garnering a lot of attention both in the US and abroad.  Last week, I was contacted by Darragh O’Connor, host of the Wrestleview International Desk radio show based in Dublin, Ireland.  He extended an invitation for me to come on the show to talk about my Ignite performance and a few other wrestling-related topics.

The interview aired on 92.5 FM in Dublin on Friday night and is now available online.  We went over 20 minutes and had a great discussion about many things pro wrestling-related including growing up a fan in New Jersey, race wars and a little TNA.

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My Interview on 411mania Is Available

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My Ignite talk “The Summer of Punk”, in which I introduce one of the most fascinating stories in professional wrestling to a non-wrestling audience,  has generated some buzz on the Internet.  Last week, I was asked to do an interview about it with Tony Acero of 411mania.com.   You can check it out here.

In introducing the interview, Tony wrote:

A certain video has been making waves on the internet the past week or so, and it comes from a source that is altogether baffling. At an event called “Ignite Baltimore,” an astrophysicist from John Hopkins University was posed with these questions:

If you had five minutes on stage, what would you say? What if you only got 20 slides and they rotated automatically after 15 seconds? At every Ignite Baltimore 16 artists, technologists, thinkers and personalities will answer this challenge.

The possibilities are obviously endless for such an expansive mind. He could have talked about the universe, the cosmos, the density of the cosmic microwave background, Samos, ANYTHING! Instead, he chose a topic dearest to all of our hearts. Yes, readers, an astrophysicist took this daunting task of stage time and spoke about”¦.CM Punk.

Once again, you can check out the interview here.  It’s about halfway down the page.

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The Summer of Punk

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I am extremely happy to debut my Ignite Baltimore presentation, The Summer of Punk.  It’s also available on Vimeo.

Ignite is an event in response to this question:

If you had five minutes on stage, what would you say?  What if you only got 20 slides and they rotated automatically after 15 seconds?  At every Ignite Baltimore 16 artists, technologists, thinkers and personalities will answer this challenge.

I applied to speak in the beginning of August and my proposal, along with 15 others, was officially accepted on September 16.  This left me almost exactly one month to get ready.

Even though I’ve given over 500 speeches in my life (mostly through debate), the constraints of this format were totally new to me.  Not only did my speech have to be exactly 5 minutes in length, it also had to coincide with slides changing every 15 seconds.  If I forgot a phrase or fell too far behind, I’d be sunk.  Word choice was critical.

I struggled mightily with trying to explain what professional wrestling is, what’s good and bad about it, the major players, their motivations, the conflict in question and its resolution in 300 seconds.  I wrote/transcribed almost 10 full pages of material, nearly all of which I ultimately threw away.  There were times where I thought there was no possible way I could tell the story in under 7 minutes.  I reworked the entire format no fewer than 4 times.  All the while I had a Blaise Pascal quote in my head, “I apologize for the length of this letter but I didn’t have time to make it shorter.”

But after days of hard work and countless rehearsals in the shower, I showed up at the Brown Center of the campus of Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA) on October 18 ready to go.

An interesting feature of Ignite is that the steering committee doesn’t actually see any of the talks until they are performed for a live audience.  Beyond the application, there is no vetting process!  (Somehow this system has worked so far.)

The only exception is the optional rehearsal held a couple hours before the show.  I arrived early to scope out the room and figure out where I was going to position my cameras.  I knew that Ignite always recorded a feed from the back of the auditorium but it never picked up crowd noise, was stationary and had too low a resolution.  I set up my sister with a telephoto lens connected to a Nikon camera on the left and my friend with a Flip camcorder on the right.  You’ll notice these feeds in the video.

Once that was set, I hopped on stage for my rehearsal.  In front of me was the Brown Center auditorium – sold out tonight – with a seating capacity of 525.  On the edge of the stage a few feet in front of me was a computer monitor that would cycle through my slides.  As I began speaking, I focused so much of my attention on moving my eyes around the auditorium that when I tried to sync my speech with the monitor, I forgot my lines.  It took what felt like an eternity (it was actually about 3 seconds) to glance at the screen, remember where I was and recover.

It wasn’t the worst screw-up ever, but it made me a nervous wreck.  Instead of focusing on the other talks, I obsessively ran my lines over and over and over again in my head.  Because I was third to last, I stewed in my own nervous juices for almost two hours.  15 minutes before my speech, my tripod literally fell to pieces and we had to jerry-rig the thing back together.  In a moment of panic, I debated whether I should bring the script on stage with me, like 10 other speakers had.

But one thing I’ve learned is while I’m an emotional jitterbug before presentations, once I start speaking everything’s usually totally cool.  I noticed that three-quarters of the talks before mine focused on some aspect of Baltimore, e.g. turning its neighborhoods into “playborhoods”, why the city is pathologically modest or how there’s a lot of beauty to be found off Rt. 95.

This is what inspired my opening line and it put me more at ease.  That almost no one in the audience admitted to being a fan of pro wrestling was a welcome challenge.  The best feature of speaking on stage is that there are bright lights in your eyes the entire time, turning the audience into an anonymous cloud of silhouettes.  Beyond saying the word “now” too much and “disagree” twice, I didn’t have any major screw-ups.

After, a number of people approached me to comment on how they enjoyed the talk and how they had never thought about wrestling in that way before.  That night I received a Facebook friend invite from someone at the event.  I politely declined, but he sent a very flattering note regardless,

Hey Mike! Didn’t get a chance to meet you in person last night to say “great fucking job.” You spoke with passion and professionalism, never missing a beat with the slides. It seemed like you truly entertained an audience of people who likely believe wrestling is a lowest common denominator form of entertainment. That’s quite a feat! I look forward to seeing your speech go viral within the internet wrestling community. Great fucking job!

Pro Wrestling

Detailed Ring of Honor in Baltimore Spoilers – September 22 TV Taping 4 (Including Survival of the Fittest Finals)

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Here are live spoilers and impressions from the episode of ROH TV that will air this weekend.  The episode is the fourth TV taping from the Du Burns Arena in Baltimore on September 22.

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Match 1 – The Briscoes def. the Bravados in 6 minutes.

CROWD: Justin Bieber!  Justin Bieber!

CROWD: Man up!  Man up!  Man up!

Mark Briscoe gains the early advantage on Harlem Bravado with the big boot.  He holds Harlem in a side slam position while Jay Briscoe comes into the ring with a leg drop.  Jay’s back elbow to Harlem gets a two count.

The Bravados work over Mark for a while, but he fights back with redneck kung fu.  Mark tags in Jay then dropkicks Harlem.  Jay hits a brainbuster on Lancelot.  He sets Lancelot up for the doomsday device, but Harlem breaks up the attempt by pushing Mark off the top rope.  Harlem flips back over the top rope and nails Jay with a cutter on the way down.  Harlem hits a springboard neckbreaker.  Two count.

Harlem throws Mark outside the ring, leaving Jay to fight off both Bravados.  Jay kicks at Lancelot, but Lancelot catches his foot.  Harlem kicks at Jay’s head from behind, but Jay ducks and the kick connects with Lancelot instead.  This looked wicked cool!  This provides the opening for the Briscoes to hit the doomsday device on Lancelot for the pin.

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The Guardians of Truth step onto the entrance ramp as the Briscoes celebrate.

GUARDIAN 1: Hey, Briscoe sisters.  We’ve got a little unfinished business with you two girls.  When we came to Ring of Honor, Truth Martini promised us greatness.  But lately, we’ve been a little busy trying to fix his broken House of Truth.  So we’ve decided to do things our way.  We are former WWF [emphasis on the “F”] Tag Team Champions.  We are the most tremendous tag team in wrestling today.  We are the HEADBANGERS!!!  [They dramatically remove their masks to reveal that they are in fact the Headbangers.]

CROWD: [cheers]

GUARDIAN 2: Hey, Briscoes, we know that you’re seven time, seven time, seven time world tag team champions, but frankly, we don’t care.  We’ve beaten legends.  We’ve held championships in the biggest companies in the world today.  So, I have one question for you – are you gonna man up, or are you going to be chickens?

JAY: Are we gonna man up?  Are we gonna man up!?

CROWD: Man up!  Man up!

JAY: With all due respect, as far as tag team wrestling is concerned, until you prove yourself in an ROH ring, you ain’t done shit, boys.

GUARDIAN 2: Hey, Briscoes.  Just remember this one thing.  There’s the right way, there’s the wrong way, then there’s the Headbanger way.  Ha ha ha hah!

CROWD: Man up!  Man up!

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Match 2 – The Headbangers def. Fusion DS in 6 minutes.

The Headbangers get a pretty decent reaction.  They are wearing “Real Men Wear Skirts” T-shirts.  As Dragon jumps off the top rope, both Headbangers catch him sideways.  But Saigon jumps over the top rope and takes all of them out.

Fusion DS keeps up the tempo with some quality tag team offense including sandwich kicks and double dropkicks to Mosh.

Thrasher fakes an injury allowing Mosh to execute a torture rack into a faceplant.  This is an unfair advantage!  Mosh hits a swinging neckbreaker on Dragon.  Two count.  Mosh tags Trasher in.  They look to execute a double delayed vertical suplex but instead throw Dragon all the way to the floor!  Trasher with a Topé con Hilo onto Dragon.

The Headbangers try another double suplex on Dragon, but he shifts his weight and counters into a double DDT.  He jumps and makes the tag to Saigon who cleans house with a top rope double dropkick, clotheslines and spin kicks.  Saigon with a muay thai knee to Thrasher’s gut.  He whips Thrasher to the opposite corner where Dragon meets him with a top rope dropkick.  Mosh rushes him, but Saigon is there to meet him with a spinebuster.

Dragon climbs to the top rope.  Thrasher runs in and knocks him off ALL THE WAY INTO THE BARRICADE where his leg gets tied up.  This was just sick.  It wasn’t quite as bad as what happened to Truth at Glory by Honor, but it sure was close.  He really looks dead.  Fans are legitimately concerned.

Back in the ring, the Headbangers hit the Stage Dive on Saigon for the pin.

After the match, three referees assist Damian Dragon to the back.  He was hopping on one leg.  I hope he’s ok, because that was a rough looking spot.

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Match 3 – (Survival of the Fittest Finals) Michael Elgin vs. Adam Cole vs. Davey Richards vs. Mike Mondo vs. Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong goes 22 minutes.

This was absolutely freaking fantastic –  a match of the year candidate.  If you are reading this, there is zero reason why you shouldn’t do everything in your power to see this match.  Things got especially awesome when it was down to the last three men.  The audience around me reached a fevered pitch, which is unusual for the end of the fourth TV taping.  It’s performances like this that justify why we wade through so much bad wrestling.

FIRST FALL – 5 minutes

As Davey tries to pump up the crowd, he starts a series of quick, athletic move/countermoves with Roderick Strong.  They tag out to Mondo and Elgin.  They rush into shoulderblocks, but neither man budges.

ELGIN: Come on!  Do it!

Mondo shows no fear.  Elgin runs off the ropes, hops over Mondo, bounces off the opposite ropes, catches Mondo’s leap frog and slams him down.  One count.  Strong ran in to break up the pin, but Elgin quickly meets him.

TRUTH: Please, stop it!

Mondo headbuts Elgin in the gut, driving him into the corner.  Davey tags Elgin.  As Elgin rolls out to the floor, Davey does his running kick from the apron to Elgin!  Ouch!  Roderick rushes up behind Davey and backdrops him onto the apron.  Double ouch!  Adam Cole runs and hits a Topé con hilo, taking out Davey.  Jay Lethal then does a Topé onto Adam Cole.  Mike Mondo climbs to the top rope and does a moonsault onto EVERYBODY!  Awesome.

CROWD: ROH!  ROH!  ROH!

Mondo gets a two count on Davey.  Roderick tags his way in and catches Mondo with a maneuver, pinning him at the 5 minute mark.

SECOND FALL – 2 minutes

Cole takes Mondo’s place against Roderick.  Both men slug it out.  Roderick spits at Elgin.  Infuriated, Elgin has to be restrained by the referees.  Cole and Roderick exchange boots and Irish whips which are punctuated with a big kick to the side of Cole’s head.  Two count.  Roderick lands a muay thai knee followed quickly by Death by Roderick.  Only a two count!

Elgin hits Roderick with a spinning discus forearm, then a back elbow.  Cole hits a superkick!  Three count.  Roderick’s gone at the 7 minute mark.

THIRD FALL – 1 minute

Davey’s in.  Cole escapes his ankle lock, so Davey hits a Death Valley Driver into a neckbreaker over his knee.  Two count.  Elgin takes over.  He looks to hit the Chaos Theory, but Cole reverses into a front roll.  Two count.  Cole hits a jumping spinning enzuigiri, then runs off the ropes to hit a knee to Elgin’s face.  Elgin catches him.  Uh oh.  Bucklebomb!  Spinning powerbomb.  Goodnight, nurse.  Adam Cole is eliminated at the 8 minute mark.

FOURTH FALL – 7 minutes

This is where things start to get really good.  Lethal is in immediately and hits knees to Elgin’s face.  Two count.

CROWD: Lethal!  Lethal!  Lethal!

Jay signals the Lethal Injection, but Elgin blocks it with elbows to the side of the head.  Jay off the ropes, but Elgin catches him over his shoulders.  Davey rushes in, but gets caught in the same position!  DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP!  I love Michael Elgin.

CROWD: Elgin!  Elgin!  Elgin!

CROWD: Feed me more!  Feed me more!  Feed me more!

Elgin climbs to the top turnbuckle but Roderick, who is still lurking at ringside, pushes him off and into the ring.  Elgin rolls out and onto the ringside table.  Davey and Jay are fighting inside and outside the ring.  Davey is going for a suplex and he SENDS ELGIN CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!!

CROWD: Holy shit!  Holy shit!  Holy shit!

It takes a long time for Jay and Davey to fight their way back to their feet.  Both men look truly exhausted.  Davey’s like, bring it.  Hit me in the chin.  Do it.  Jay winds up and hits him right in the chin.  Davey shakes it off and begs it for it again.  He punches Jay in the chin.  Jay does the same.  Ouch.  His hand hurts.  Davey punches Jay in the side of the head.  Jay with a chop.  Davey staggers.  Davey kicks Jay in the chest.  Both men are still staggered.  Jay winds up, sizes him up and both men are throwing flurries back and forth.  Both men are down.

After the slugfest, Elgin is climbing his way back into the ring like a monster rising from the deep.  Jay and Davey are looking at each other in disbelief.  They don’t know what to make of this.  Davey looks for answers in the crowd.

CROWD:  Elgin!  Elgin!  Elgin!

Davey kicks Elgin in the face.  Elgin blocks.  Jay kicks, but Elgin catches it.  Davey misses an enzuigiri, but Jay hits Elgin with a DDT.  Elgin is really reeling now.  Jay and Davey are looking at each other thinking, what can we do to stop this guy?  Davey points at Jay and they both to opposite top turnbuckles.  Davey hits the double stomp!  Jay hits Hail to the King!  Both men cover Elgin simultaneously.  It’s over.  One.  Two.  ELGIN KICKS OUT!  You have got to be kidding me.

Elgin is hulking up.  He’s shaking his head no.  Davey off the ropes hits a big clothesline.  Elgin screams and brushes it off.  Davey again, but Elgin will not budge.  He spits in his face.  Davey with a right, a left, a crescent kick.  Lethal with a superkick, Davey with a spin kick, Jay with a boot to the face.  Jay and Davey hit stereo kicks to Elgin’s head, Young Bucks-style.  One.  Two.  Three.  Elgin’s eliminated after 15 minutes.  That was super cool.

FINAL FALL – 7 minutes

With Elgin out of the picture, Jay and Davey take their time to recover in opposite corners.  They are staring each other down.  This is starting to become epic.

The locker room empties out and wrestlers run to ringside – Tadarius Thomas, BJ Whitmer, Rhett Titus, Caprice Coleman, Cedric Alexander, the Briscoes, the Bravados, Matthew Justice, Marti Belle.  They start pounding on the apron.  Everyone in the building is standing.

Jay and Davey shake hands.  Jay hits a cutter on him out of nowhere.  He goes to the top and hits Hail to the King!  Davey kicks out at two!

Davey hits the Alarm Clock.  Davey’s clothesline is reversed into a Lethal Combination.  Jay hits another Lethal Combination!  Two count.  The wrestlers are pounding the mat.  Jay has a sort of crossface submission in.  Davey reverses into the ankle lock.  Jay reverses into that submission where Davey is face down, Jay laces his feet with his arms, then sticks his legs under his armpits and stretches him (he did this near the end of his match with Davey at Glory by Honor XI).  Davey gets a rope break.

They trade shots including one kick to the side of Jay’s head that was just brutal.  Davey hits a top rope double stomp.  Jay kicks out at one.  Now he’s hulking up!  Davey’s not going to let him recover.  Davey does the flurry that won him his match against Elgin at Showdown in the Sun – kick to the head, spin kick to the side of the head, big Daniel Bryan-style kick to the head.  Still a two count!

Davey off the ropes – Jay with a superkick!  One.  Two.  Kick out!

CROWD: ROH!  ROH!  ROH!

Davey is inching up.  He’s not dead yet.  The guys at ringside are pounding the ring.  The floorboards underneath me are vibrating because of the passion of the fans.  Davey counters the Lethal Injection and hits pinball forearms in the corners.  Davey hits a superplex, but holds on!  He hits another suplex!  Two count!  He hits a basement dropkick.  Two count.  Davey with the ankle lock.

DAVEY: Give up!

Jay crawls to the ropes.  Davey pulls him back in, yanks him up, and chains a full nelson into a massive release fisherman suplex.  Davey hulks up.  He goes for a clothesline to end it, but Jay catches him, full nelson and hits a huge overhead belly-to-back suplex.  Davey’s dead.  One.  Two.  No!  Pinfalls do not get much closer than that.

CROWD: Let’s go Lethal!  Let’s Lethal!

Lethal has thrown off the elbow pads and the wrist pads.  Davey is crawling to him.

CROWD: ROH!  ROH!  ROH!

Davey is standing arms akimbo as Davey gets back to his feet.

JAY: I’m sorry, I love you.  (just kidding)

Jay chops him and Davey spits right in his face!

DAVEY: Come on!  Bring it!

Davey hits a jumping enzuigiri, but Lethal goes off the ropes and hits the Lethal Injection.  One.  Two.  Three.

There’s a HUGE REACTION from the crowd.  Jay is getting a standing ovation and rightfully so.  Fans are throwing streamers for literally a full minute after the match.

CROWD: Lethal!  Lethal!  Lethal!

Everyone in the building is standing.  Kevin Kelly and Nigel are standing and applauding at the commentary position.  Jay celebrates his win.

CROWD: That was awesome!  That was awesome!  That was awesome!

Jay does a victory lap and slaps hands with the fans at ringside.

BOBBY CRUISE: Thank you for a great 2012 for Ring of Honor here in Baltimore.  And we’d like to see you kick off things in a big, big way when we come back to the Du Burns Arena on January 5.

Pro Wrestling

Detailed Ring of Honor in Baltimore Spoilers – September 22 TV Taping 3

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Here are live spoilers and impressions from the episode of ROH TV that will air this weekend. The episode was taped in the Du Burns Arena in Baltimore on September 22.

For the first time in Baltimore, the normally scheduled intermission was moved from before the third TV taping to after, presumably to allow some rest time for the Survival of the Fittest main event in the final taping.

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Match 1 – (Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match) Roderick Strong (with Truth Martini) def. Homicide in 11 minutes. I didn’t love this. Technically, there was nothing wrong with it, but it just lacked a certain spark.

The match begins with some standard back-and-forth and whips into the barricade. Homicide chokes Roderick with a camera cord and, in the corner, punches him in the head diez times. Roderick escapes. Homicide charges but gets two boots to the face. Roderick responds with nine shots of his own. Homicide avoids the tenth, hits an uppercut and bites Roderick. Roderick comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Two count.

Roderick bends Homicide’s head under the bottom rope arms over the middle rope, then stretches him. Two count. Homicide comes back with one of the three amigos, but his back gives out on the second. Roderick capitalizes. He goes for a delayed suplex, but drops Homicide over the top rope instead. Homicide rallies with a knee to the side of Roderick’s head. Two count.

After a tussle on the top turnbuckle, Roderick hits a backbreaker on Homicide. Roderick tries for the Gibson Driver, but Homicide throws a shoulder to the gut and places Roderick on the top turnbuckle. Roderick sets up Death by Roderick from the middle turnbuckle, but Homicide reverses into a hurricanrana. Two count.

Homicide hits an exploder suplex. He tries for Da Cop Killa, but Roderick reverses and hits Death by Roderick. He launches off the ropes, hits a double boot to Homicide’s face and then nails the Gibson Driver for the three count.

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Match 2 – (Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match) Mike Mondo def. Kyle O’Reilly in 12 minutes. This was a really good match. There were a lot of technically proficient moves and counters executed quickly and fluidly. The result of the match was always in question. Good stuff!

Almost immediately, Davey Richards brings a chair to ringside to observe. Kyle and Mondo exchange a series of moves and counters too quickly to write down, but trust me, they’re a lot of fun.

A test of strength puts Mondo on his back. He bridges up and forces Kyle down into the bridge. Their hands stay linked as Kyle fights up, drops down, puts his knees in Mondo’s gut and flips him over onto his back.

Pro Wrestling

Detailed Ring of Honor in Baltimore Spoilers – September 22 TV Taping 2

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Here are live spoilers and impressions from the episode of ROH TV that will air this weekend.  The episode was taped in the Du Burns Arena in Baltimore on August 22.

Match 1 – (Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match) Davey Richards def. Mike Bennett (with Brutal Bob and Maria) in 10 minutes – This was a pretty decent match.  It’s good to see Davey back.  The crowd gave him a great reaction when he came out.

CROWD: Welcome back!  Welcome back!  Welcome back!

Bennett slaps Davey’s hand dismissively and we’re underway.  Davey’s crescent kicks get a quick two count.  Davey with a jumping forearm in the corner followed by 16 shoot kicks to Bennett’s chest.  Davey is pumped up!

Bennett quickly escapes an ankle lock and rolls outside.  Davey tries a running kick from the apron, but Bennett pulls Maria in front of him.  Davey chases Bennett around the ring, but Brutal Bob is there with a cheap shot.  Bennett thrusts Davey’s head onto the apron.

Davey recovers with a running straight kick.  In the ring, Davey sets up what looks like a Trailer Hitch, but then spins around so that he’s facing away from Bennett.  He does a Rick Rude-style gyration towards Maria then leans back into a bridge, dropping to his back several times for added impact.  The crowd appreciates this.

Bennett reverses an Irish whip and headbuts Davey on the ouside.  Bennett is really selling the legs now.  Davey charges, but Bennett hits a spinebuster on the corner of the ring apron.  Bennett is fired up.  He’s grabbing streamers from the floor, screaming and ripping them up.  Both men are back in the ring.

With Davey seated, Bennett pulls Davey’s arms back and drives his knee into Davey’s back several times.  Davey with a small package.  Two count.  Bennett with a strong lariat.  Two count.  Bennett applies a rear chin lock, but Davey counters into a chinbreaker.  Both men are staggered.

Bennett punches Davey in the head.  Davey starts his head nodding, finger wagging gimmick, begging for more.  Then trade blows with Davey getting the better of it.  Davey runs off the ropes, but Bennett with a superkick.  Two count.

CROWD: Let’s go Davey!  Let’s go Davey!

With Bennett still selling the beating, Davey clotheslines him over the top rope and hits a Topé.

CROWD: Davey!  Davey!  Davey!

Davey with a missile dropkick.  He charges Bennett in the corner, but gets a big boot.  Davey’s spin kick hits, but Bennett reverses an Irish whip.  Davey slides under, kicks, but Bennett catches it.  Davey quickly lands lefts and right to Bennett’s head.  Two count.

On the apron, Davey wants a lifting side slam, but Bennett blocks.  Davey kicks Bennett’s chest twice instead, but the third hits the ring post.  Bennett spears Davey onto the apron.  Two count.

Bennett tries an ankle lock of his own, but Davey rolls through.  Two count.  Bennett tries a Death Valley Driver, but Davey elbows out and hits a Saito suplex.  Davey with another missile dropkick.  Bennett kicks out at two and Davey transitions immediately into the ankle lock.  Bennett rolls through and Davey to the outside where Maria hits him in the head.  Bennett nails the Box Office Smash!

Mike Mondo runs to ringside and starts messing around with Maria.  He distracts Bennett by putting up his dukes.  Davey is recovering.

CROWD: Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!

Davey hits the Alarm Clock, does the throat slit and hits a running sliding kick to the side of Bennett’s head for the pinfall.

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Tommaso Ciampa and R.D. Evans come to the ring.  Ciampa throws down his crutches and points to his head with his fingers to indicate he’s crazy.

EVANS: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Barrister R.D. Evans.  But I’m sure you already know that.  And I need to tell you something else you already know.  It is no secret that this man, Tommaso Ciampa, [cheers from crowd] suffered a torn ACL and meniscus at ROH Boiling Point in Providence, RI.  And yet, despite that injury, which would cripple any other man, I told ROH officials – hold his spot in tonight’s Survival of the Fittest tournament.  I gave my word, my client will compete.

EVANS: Because you see, Tommaso Ciampa, despite this injury, took Jay Lethal to the limit in a 2 out of 3 falls match.  He muscled through what would have put any other man down.  He proved on that night that he was a warrior!  A champion!  A gladiator!  A thoroughbred!  And you know what you do when a thoroughbred breaks his leg.  [dramatic pause]  You shoot him.  [Ciampa looks menacingly at Evans.]  I gave my word that my client would compete tonight, so ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce my newest client, God’s Gift, QT Marshall.

Ciampa tries to give Evans a powerbomb, but Evans escapes, grabs the crutch and hits Ciampa’s injured knee from behind.  Marshall races in and kicks Ciampa in the head.  He jams the upside-down crutch into Ciampa’s injured knee.  [bell is ringing]  Evans shakes Marshall’s hand and applauds.

Marshall is not over yet, so this attack got no reaction at first, but in the end the crowd was booing.  Someone threw a roll of toilet paper at Evans, who caught it, threw it right back into the crowd and pounded his chest.

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Match 2: (Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match) Jay Lethal def. “God’s Gift” QT Marshall (with R.D. Evans) in 7 minutes –

CROWD: Lethal!  Lethal!  Lethal!

Lethal starts with a shot to Marshall followed by a dropkick and a Topé to the outside.  Lethal soaks in the adulation of the crowd.  Back in the ring, Lethal chops Marshall’s chest and hits a BIG back body drop.

CROWD: Let’s go Lethal!  Let’s go Lethal!

Lethals hits the hip toss/cartwheel/dropkick combination, but Marshall recovers with a quick tilt-a-whirl suplex.  One count.  R.D. chokes Lethal in the corner.  Marshall follows up with a slam, two elbow drops and a step onto Lethal’s throat.

Lethal reverses an Irish whip and throws a shoulder block into Marshall’s midsection.  He misses the second and hits his head on the middle turnbuckle.  The ref cuts off Marshall’s pin attempt when he see his feet on the middle rope.  Lethal fights back and hits the handspring back elbow.  Lethal signals for the Lethal Injection, but Marshall grabs him from behind and hits a faceplant.  Marshall’s clothesline turns Lethal inside out.  Two count.

CROWD: Let’s go Lethal!  Let’s go Lethal!

Marshall mocks Lethal but gets kicked in the face.  Lethal hits the Lethal Combination and goes for Hail to the King.  R.D. jumps onto the apron, distracting Lethal.  As Marshall stalks up, Prince Nana races to ringside and attacks R.D., throwing him upside down and into the ringside barricade.  Marshall is distracted as three referees try to escort Nana away from ringside.  In the middle of the ring, Lethal does a backflip onto his hands then pops up and hits the Lethal Injection for the pin.

After the match, R.D. is hunched over like an old lady as he limps his way backstage.

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Match 3: (ROH Championship Match) Kevin Steen (with Jimmy Jacobs) def. Rhett Titus (with BJ Whitmer) in 7 minutes.  Steve Corino is on commentary.  This was fine, nothing that will blow your socks off.

CROWD: Kill Steen kill!  Kill Steen kill!

Rhett attacks Steen before the bell.  On the outside, Steen tries to avoid Rhett’s dive over the top rope, but Whitmer chases him back into position.  Rhett takes out both Steen and Jacobs as Whitmer cheers him on.

Rhett hits a leg drop bulldog.  Two count.  They tussle, but Steen locks Rhett in the tree of woe and hits the running cannonball in the corner.  Rhett fights back with a boot to the face, clothesline and running dropkick in the corner.  Two count.  Steen rolls to the apron.

CROWD:  Mr Wrestling!  Mr. Wrestling!  Mr. Wrestling!

Rhett stomps on Steen despite referee Todd Sinclair’s admonishments.  Steen pulls Rhett’s legs out from underneath him and attempts a powerbomb on the outside.  Rhett punches out, but Jacobs becomes a distraction.  When Rhett turns back around to face Steen, he gets caught in a powerbomb to the corner of the apron.  Steen gets a two count.

Steen misses a top rope moonsault.  As Rhett climbs to the top rope, Jimmy gets in the opposite corner and looks to attack with the spike.  Whitmer stops him, but the spike is in the ring now.  Rhett picks it up, but when Sinclair takes it away from him, it creates the opening for Steen to superkick him and hit the F-Cinq for the pin.

Pro Wrestling

Detailed Ring of Honor in Baltimore Spoilers – September 22 TV Taping #1

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Here are live spoilers and impressions from the episode of ROH TV that will air this weekend.  The episode was taped in the Du Burns Arena in Baltimore on August 22.  They announced before the show that ROH would return to the Du Burns on January 5.  They continue to run the gimmick where you get $10 of the price of admission if you purchase during intermission.

This was touted as “Fan Appreciation Night”.  Everyone was offered an 18” X 12” glossy poster with photos of Jay Lethal, Adam Cole, Rhino, Mike Mondo, Cedric Alexander and Caprice Coleman.  Fans lined up at a table in the back of the building to get signatures from all 6 men.  Adam Cole had to depart earlier than the others since he was in the first match.

roh-signatures-lethal-rhino-mondo-alexander-and-coleman

Be sure to check out in the front row on the hard camera side, there’s a guy dressed exactly like Truth Martini.  It’s a great costume!

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Dark Match: Ryan McBride & Veda Scott def. Matthew Justice & Marti Belle in a mixed tag match – This was just ok.  The women’s offense was sloppy at times and universally weak and low impact.

The men tangle briefly followed by the women.  With the men back in, McBride hits a collection of nice, deep, almost overhead armdrags.  McBride whips Justice into the corner.  Justice stops before colliding with the turnbuckle, sidesteps and McBride launches shoulder first into the ring post.  Justice works a key lock.  McBride escapes and hits a dropkick to the face.

The women are in but Justice grabs Veda Scott’s leg as she runs off the ropes allowing Belle to gain the advantage.  She chokes Veda over the bottom rope then kicks her square in the back.  Belle taunts the audience with a Madison Rayne-style wave and continues choking Veda.  Belle throws Veda into the corner.  Veda with a kick to the face.  She hits a clothesline off the turnbuckle.

The men are back in.  McBride hits a top rope missile dropkick.  Two count.  Justice counters McBride’s charge into the corner with a boot to the face followed by a leg drop bulldog.  Veda breaks up the pin attempt then launches herself at Belle taking her out.  Meanwhile McBride hits a cartwheel Death Valley driver for the pin.

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Match 1 – (Survival of the Fittest Qualifying Match) Adam Cole def. Tadarius Thomas in 7 minutes.  This was a lot of fun, really good match.  Definitely check it out.

CROWD: Adam Cole!  Adam Cole!  Adam Cole!

The men shake hands.  They trade, block and dodge shoulderblocks, superkicks, snap mares, wristlocks and waistlocks really quickly.  Standoff.  Cole hits a fisherman’s suplex.  Two count.  Cole hits a neckbreaker slam.  Two count.

CROWD:  Let’s go Adam!  Let’s go Adam!

Tadarius employs capoeira style and avoids Cole’s offense with some very athletic dodges.  He hits a unique judo takedown with a simultaneous fist to the face.  Incredible.

CROWD:  Eddy Gordo!  Eddy Gordo!

Thomas looks towards the chanters in Section C and nods his head.  They continue to quickly trade punches, elbows, enzuigiris and jumping shoulder kicks.  The crowd is very into this.

Tadarius counters a suplex attempt with a knee to Cole’s head.  He runs off the ropes, but Cole catches him with a pop-up shoulderbreaker.  Two count.  Adam goes to kick Tadarius in the head, but he dodges with a half cartwheel which transitions into a kick to Adam’s head.  This guy is seriously Eddy Gordo.

The crowd claps loudly as Adam is slow to recover.  Tadarius jumps into the air and hits a downward thrusted fist to the face.  A kick to Cole’s shoulder hits.  A second is blocked.  Cole punches, but Tadarius ducks, runs off the ropes and hits a lariat in which he spins around to Cole’s back and drives him down like an inverted bulldog.

CROWD: Blackie Chan!  Blackie Chan!

Cole to the floor.  Tadarius tries a running boot from the apron but Cole hits a wicked superkick.  Tadarius manages a shoulderblock coming back into the ring followed by a sunset flip.  Two count.  Adam recovers quickly and tries for a leg lock, but Tadarius escapes and misses a crescent kick.  Cole kicks him in the back of the head and hits the Florida Keys!  Three count.

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Match 2: Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team (Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin) and Fusion DS (Damian Dragon & Matt Saigon) have a no contest – WGTT receive a strangely positive reaction.  Charlie is wearing a T-shirt that reads “You Haas Hole”.  Before the match can commence, Rhett Titus comes out.

TITUS: Whoa whoa whoa.  Fusion DS, I know you guys want your big opportunity on TV, but I’m going to ask you guys to leave the ring because [yelling now] I have a personal vendetta with Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin!  And I want the both of you right here, right now in Baltimore.

CROWD: (cheers)

CHARLIE: Rhett Titus, you have to be the dumbest son of a bitch I’ve ever seen in my life.  You come out here demanding a match with Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.  We’ve beaten you as singles, we’ve beaten you with a partner and every which way but loose.  You have to have brain damage to want a piece of us.  But you know what, let’s just get this match sanctioned and let’s whip his ass.

RHETT: (to Bobby Cruise) Get this match going, brother!  Get it going!

CRUISE: At this time, Jim Cornette, executive producer of Ring of Honor and the production truck in the back have just told me that if Rhett Titus wants it, Shelton Benjamin wants it and Charlie Haas wants it, then it’s on!

CROWD: (cheers)

CHARLIE: Hey, idiot.  You have to be stupid if you want to fight both of us and you don’t even have a partner, you moron.

RHETT: Hey, Charlie.  I’m a lot of things but a moron isn’t one of them.  And I never said that I didn’t have a partner.

BJ Whitmer runs out to the back, making his first TV appearance since the Baltimore TV tapings have begun!

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The REAL Match 2: Rhett Titus & BJ Whitmer def. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team (Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin) in 5 minutes.

CROWD: BJ Whitmer!  BJ Whitmer!

Whitmer gets off to a hot start by back body dropping Charlie and punching and kicking Shelton in the face (after Rhett pulls him into the ring).  Shelton recovers, smiles and offers Whitmer his hand.  Whitmer shakes it, but telegraphs Shelton’s cheap shot and kicks him in the gut.

Meanwhile, Rhett throws Charlie into the ringside barricade.  He returns to the ring and kicks Shelton hard in the gut.  Rhett charges Charlie as he gets back into the ring, but ends up going over the top rope.  Rhett tries to jump back in, but Charlie grabs his foot while Shelton knees him in the forehead.  While the ref is distracted by Whitmer’s outrage, Charlie beats on Rhett on the floor.

Shelton follows up by intimating throwing Rhett into the barricade.  The fans cheer it, so Shelton just blows them and rolls Rhett back in.

CROWD: Charlie sucks!  Charlie sucks!

Rhett is hung over the second rope.  Charlie attacks, Rhett dodges and Whitmer’s in!  Whitmer hits a big spinebuster on Shelton, but Charlie breaks up his pin attempt at two.  Rhett runs back in and tussles with Charlie to the floor, ultimately throwing him back into the barricade.

While Rhett his an axehandle on Charlie, Whitmer dodges Shelton’s Stinger Splash and rolls him up for the quick pin.

After the match, WGTT beat down Rhett and Whitmer.  Shelton hits Paydirt and Charlie spits on them.  Haas and Benjamin grab Whitmer by his legs and yank him crotch first into the ring post.  The bell is ringing like crazy.  The low blow draws out 4 security officials and 3 more referees to attend to Whitmer.

CROWD: This is Haasome!  This is Haasome!

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Kevin Kelly is the ring.

KELLY: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, Ring of Honor World Champion Kevin Steen, World Tag Team Champions Steve Corino, the Zombie Princess Jimmy Jacobs, collectively known as SCUM.

These three get a big reaction.  One fan has a sign that reads “SCUM rises to the top.”  Steen has a Kevin F’N Steen T-shirt on, alluding to the old ECW shirts.

CORINO: Kevin Kelly, as your true partner in color commentating, I’m going to ask you to leave, and I’m going to conduct this interview with the ROH World Champion, Kevin Steeeeeen!

CROWD: (cheers)

CORINO: We’re waiting with bated breath to hear what you have to say.

STEEN: What I have to say is quite simple.  Tonight I will beat Rhett Titus for the Ring of Honor World Title.  On October 6, I will beat Jay Lethal for the Ring of Honor World Title.  And then on October 13 in Toronto, I will put my Ring of Honor World Title on the line against “Unbreakable” Michael Elgin.

CROWD: (cheers)

STEEN: You like that, huh?  That’s very unfortunate for you.  That’s exactly why I’m out here.  I have some things to tell Mr. Elgin.  So if you could please join us, that’d be lovely, Mr. Elgin.

The House of Truth’s Music hits.

STEEN: That was pretty easy.

Michael Elgin and Truth Martini come to the ring.

TRUTH: Kevin Steen, just shoosh.  Nobody cares what you have to say.  Michael Elgin believes that everything that’s coming out of your mouth is a bunch of hooplah.

ELGIN: (grabbing the mic) Truth, the only hooplah I’m hearing is your voice.  Kevin, I’m out here to confront you face to face.  Truth is, I have something you need to know as well.  I’m a man of few words, Kevin.  And lately, you seem to be a man of so many.  So I’m going to let you say what you have to say, and I’ll tell you what I have to say after.

STEEN: Let me guess what you have to say – they say all men were created equal but they were wrong!  Mike, I called you out here to tell you three things.  Number 1 – I don’t like you.  I’ll explain why I don’t like you, but before we step into the ring with each other on October 13, I think we need to think about a little something.

CROWD: Hug it out!  Hug it out!  Hug it out!

STEEN: Absolutely not.  In Toronto, I will have Jimmy Jacobs and Steve Corino, two men I can trust, the current Ring of Honor Tag Team Champions, by my side.  But you, I see Truth Martini over here but, uh, Roderick Strong’s not here, Rhino’s not here.  I came back to Ring of Honor for two reasons.  I want to kill this company, but I also want to steal the show every single night.  But in Florida you wrestled Davey Richards and on that night, you stole the show.

CROWD: (cheers)

STEEN: I can admit when someone steals the show, but that’s the part I don’t like.  I don’t like when people steal the show.  I don’t like when people take my spot.  Let me tell you something, Elgin.  That one night in Florida – is nothing compared to the six years that I have spent pouring my heart and soul to get this.  Now we’re supposed to pin our hopes on you to get this off of me?  They even call the show “An Unbreakable Hope”.  Well to me, all it is is an undeniable joke.  In your hometown, you may have the entire city of Toronto behind you, but it will not matter, because I will walk out of Toronto the same way I did on May 12 – as Ring of Honor World Champion!  And you know why?  (screaming) Because I, not you, I am unbreakable!  I am unbeatable!  Because I am Kevin Steen and I am the best damn thing in pro wrestling today!

CROWD: (cheers)

ELGIN: Now that you’re done, I wasn’t going to tell you that they were wrong.  I was going to tell you that actions speak louder than words.

Elgin punches all members of SCUM in the head.  The tag champs fight back, but as Elgin pushes them off Steen hits him flush in the head with the title belt.

As the bell rings, Truth begs Roderick Strong to come out and do something.  Rodericks stands at the top of the entrance way, smiling, but he takes no action.  Rhino and the Guardians of Truth charge the ring and run off SCUM.

CROWD: Rhino!  Rhino!  Rhino!

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Match 3: Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander def. Steve Corino & Jimmy Jacobs in an ROH Tag Team Championship match via DQ in 8 minutes.

CROWD: Steve Corino!  Steve Corino!  Steve Corino!

CROWD: C and C!  C and C!  C and C!

Cedric and Caprice beat on Jacobs.  Corino comes in.  Cedric holds Corino while Caprice hits a jumping leg lariat.  Cedric attempts a twisting top rope splash, but Corino avoids by just walking away.

Jacobs in with a snapmare to Cedric and a dropkick to his back.  Jacobs hits two neckbreaker slams, jumps on his chest and simulates peeing on him like a male dog.  Corino in.  They Irish whip Cedric and punch him in the head.  Two count.  They criss-cross his arms and pull him back first to the mat.  Two count.

Cedric gets beat down for a bit with a leg vise and backbreaker over Corino’s knee.  Cedric manages to bounce Jimmy off the apron and into the ringside barricade, but only makes the hot tag once Jacobs misses a senton from the turnbuckle.

Caprice is on fire with clotheslines.  He thrusts Corino’s head into the mat with a ju jitsu-style take down.  Caprice with two continuation suplexes.  Corino interferes, but Caprice hits the same move on both men simultaneously.  Caprice headlocks Corino, runs off the chest of Jacobs and DDTs Corino.

Jacobs reverses an Irish whip but gets kicked in the head.  Caprice runs, jumps straight up onto the top rope, then jumps again hitting a HUGE bodysplash to Corino on the floor.  That was some serious height!  Jacobs tries a baseball slide to Caprice on the floor.  Caprice counters with a 619 around the ring post.  Cedric launches over the top rope taking out both Jacobs and Corino.  Cedric faceplants Jacobs.  Caprice hits a top rope leg drop.  Corino breaks up the two count.

Corino off the ropes, but he gets hit with Total Elimination.  Jacobs tries for Sliced Bread but Caprice blocks it.  Cedric dropkicks Corino in the corner.  He crosses the ring and does the same to Jacobs.  Caprice hits Jacobs with his trademark standing jumping top rope hurricanrana.  Cedric hits the frog splash on Jacobs, but Corino punches Caprice in the face with a roll of quarters which subsequently fly all over the ring.  The ref calls for the bell.

SCUM throws Cedric out of the ring and beat down Caprice.  Michael Elgin makes the save.

CROWD: Elgin!  Elgin!  Elgin!

Corino and Jacobs grab their title belts as Elgin stares them down.  The tag champs just walk away.

CROWD: C and C!  C and C!  C and C!

Elgin stares at Cedric and Caprice and shakes both their hands.  Truth Martini is upset at this and stomps on the entrance ramp.

CROWD: C and C!  C and C!  C and C!

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Between TV tapings, two ROH employees give free T-shirts and DVDs away to “whoever’s the loudest.”

GUY: You are the best Ring of Honor fans for all the shows you go to!

PersonalPro Wrestling

I Will Be Speaking at Ignite Baltimore in October

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I have been invited to present a talk at Ignite Baltimore 16 on October 18, 2012. The event will be held at MICA’s Brown Center in central Baltimore City just a couple blocks from Penn Station.

I’m particularly excited about this since the last couple Ignite shows have been quite good. The spirit is similar to that of TED Talks with three important differences. First, each speaker is given only 5 minutes, not 10 to 17. Second, each speaker brings a set of 20 slides that flip every 15 seconds. This keeps the pace nice and crisp. Third, there are 16 speakers with a wine intermission after the first 8. Speakers are allowed to present on anything they want, so the night is usually a fun potpourri.

Tickets sell out really quickly since they cost almost nothing, so if you’re interested in coming, purchase them now. I hope all of you can come!

The Ignite team accepted my proposal for a talked entitled “The Summer of Punk”. Here’s that proposal now.

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Despite a reputation for being “fake”, the complex and politically charged world of professional wrestling routinely blurs the line between fiction and reality, sometimes with spectacular consequences.

In June 2011 the talented but underutilized WWE wrestler CM Punk was weeks away from the expiration of his contract. Tired of his company’s cartoonish presentation of wrestling, with a live microphone and nothing left to lose, Punk abandoned his script. He broke the fourth wall and spoke directly to the audience, castigating WWE’s creative direction, its management and even wishing death upon its CEO. A panicked production room cut his feed. Punk was suspended.

The event ignited a firestorm of support from fans who endorsed Punk’s “real life” vision of wrestling, leaving WWE with a catch-22 – stick to the “story” and alienate a large, vocal portion of their fan base or acknowledge the legitimacy of Punk’s claims and spark a very real battle for the soul of the sport itself.

Pro Wrestling

Ring of Honor TV Spoiler Report for the Weekend of September 8, 2012

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Here are live spoilers and impressions from the episode of Ring of Honor TV that will air this weekend. The episode was taped in the DuBurns Arena in Baltimore on August 3.

 

Match 1: The Briscoes def. BLKOUT (Ruckus and BLK Jeez) in a Tag Team Title tournament first round match in 9 minutes.

CROWD: BLKOUT! BLKOUT! BLKOUT!

Fun note: Rashad Cameron (BLK Jeez) in TNA had the gimmick where he kept an afro comb in his hair. I saw him walking around backstage before the show and he was still teasing out his hair with the comb. Apparently that’s no gimmick!

Despite this being their first ROH appearance (at least in Baltimore), BLKOUT was getting a great reaction. There were even dueling “BLKOUT” , “Man up!” chants. A lot of fans were individually chanting for Ruckus. Everyone earned their cheers tonight as this was a fun match.

Early on, Jeez launches over the top rope, taking out both Briscoes. Ruckus runs along the ropes and does a running shooting star press onto the pile! Jeez poses!

Mark Briscoe regains control. He begins his second rope shimmy where he chants like a Native American and then jumps off, missing a senton. Jay was great here. He looked perturbed at Mark the whole time he was doing this nonsense. When he missed, he yells, “Man, I told you to cut that sh*t out!” Hilarious.

BLKOUT execute a coordinated series of three tag team maneuvers, a la the Motor City Machineguns. Mark makes the hot tag to Jay, who hits consecutive axe handles followed by a big boot to Ruckus. Ruckus tries two flippy-dippy moves and hits the first, but Jay counters and lays him out during the second.

Mark’s running dropkick sends Jeez out of the ring and disrupts a BLKOUT tag team maneuver. Jay hits a neckbreaker on Ruckus. Mark hits the big froggy elbow off the top rope. Jay gets the pin.

BLKOUT receives a really nice standing ovation after the match. The Baltimore ROH fans clearly want them to come back.

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Match 2: “Rock and Roll” Mike Sydal def. Mike Bennett in 5 minutes – Moments after the match begins the crowd chants “you can’t wrestle” at Bennett. He then goes into a keylock rest hold to prove them right.

Bennett attempts a piledriver, but referee Todd Sinclair warns him not to do it. This allows Sydal to get a near fall. He escapes Bennett’s charge with a matrix manoeuvre and hits a neckbreaker slam.

Bennett fights back and hits a big boot followed by the Box Office Smash. He goes for the pin, but pulls Sydal’s head up at two. Bennett tries instead to tap him out, but Mike Mondo comes to ringside and forcibly kisses Maria. This draws Bennett. Mondo eggs him on. Bennett chases Mondo around the ring two full times before Mondo runs to the back with Bennett in hot pursuit. Maria yells to Bennett that he’s about to be counted out, but it’s too late. Mike Sydal picks up the win via countout.

CROWD: Mondo! Mondo! Mondo!

Barrister R.D. Evans is on commentary.

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Match 3: Tommaso Ciampa def. Mike Posey in 2 minutes – Chiampa plays the early aggressor with a kick to the face and stomps on Mike Posey. Posey reverses a Kryptonite Krunch attempt, but Chiampa responds by just throwing him over the top rope to the floor. Posey hits a big leg lariat over the top rope, but Chiampa’s up quick and hits a strong clothesline. He pulls down his knee pad and does four running knees to Posey’s head. He drags Posey to the middle of the ring, deadlifts him and hits Project Chiampa.

Chiampa’s celebration music stops and we notice that Prince Nana is attacking R.D. Evans at the commentary position. In the fray, they knock the entire commentary desk to the floor. Chiampa is furious and charges towards the commentary position. He’s clearly very upset. He starts throwing chairs. After they break things up, six members of the crew work for several minutes putting the desk back together.

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Match 4: Michael Elgin (with Truth Martini) vs. Adam Cole for the ROH Television Title goes to a no contest – Michael Elgin abides by the code of honor, much to the disappointment of Truth Martini who grimaces, stares at the ground and walks away.

Cole and Elgin exchange something like 14 low-impact, fast, technically sound countermanuevers to start the match followed by about 6 near-fall pinning combinations. Fun stuff! Cole charges Elgin near the ropes. Elgin dodges and hits a release German suplex. Cole misses a sunset bomb but hits a backcracker. The men trade shots from their knees. Elgin attempts to counter Cole’s top rope splash into a powerbomb, but Cole escapes and hits a superkick. He follows with Cole-ateral (I think…it looked like a scoop brainbuster to me). Two count.

There are dueling Cole/Elgin chants. Cole sunset flips from the middle turnbuckle, but Elgin catches him, deadlifts him and hits a bucklebomb…but oh no! Todd Sinclair was stuck in the corner and got crushed.

The Guardians of Truth run in.

ELGIN [grabbing Guardian]: What are you doing!? This is my match! It’s the TV Title!

Corino and Jacobs run out. They tangle up with the Guardians. Kevin Steen runs out and into the ring. He and Elgin have a stare down.

CROWD: Ooooooooooo!!!

Kevin Steen pushes Elgin, and Elgin pushes him back and now they wailing on each other with punches. Rhino charges to the ring and starts attacking Steen. Michael Elgin is just a fuming ball of rage as he watches his chance to win the TV Title succumb to chaos.

Roderick Strong runs to the ring. He grabs Elgin by the shoulder, turns him around and then kicks Steen.

ELGIN (to Roderick): What are you doing here!?

Rockerick removes his shirt and stares down Elgin. Elgin pushes him.

ELGIN: You want this!? You want this, Roddy?

Elgin pulls down the straps. Meanwhile, Rhino and Steen continue to battle on the outside while Adam Cole is being assisted to the back. A swarm of referees descends upon the ring. Roderick grabs the Book of Truth.

ELGIN: Come on! Hit me with it! Hit me with it!

TRUTH: Hold on! Hold on!

ELGIN: Hit me! You want it you son of a bitch? Let’s go!

TRUTH: No no! Let’s not do this. Not here. Not at this time.

Roderick is pointing his finger right in Elgin’s face. Elgin, furious, continues to stare Roderick down. Roderick will not relent. He drops the Book of Truth and gets right in Elgin’s face. Elgin kicks the Book of Truth out of the ring. Truth stares at the book with dejection and picks it back up.

CROWD: Elgin! Elgin! Elgin!

TRUTH: Guys, hold on a second. Enough’s enough. We’re a cohesive unit. You need to stick together, especially for the next match because it’s going to be us three against some Baltimore punks named D-Line and the local moron DJ Christoff.

RODERICK: I’m going to tell you one thing, Elgin. If you lose this match tonight I swear to you I’m gonna slap you in that big fat kisser, porky.

Following his slight, Roderick immediately runs and jumps out of the ring.

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Bonus Match: D-Line (Black Ice & Bodysnatcher) and Christoff def. The House of Truth (Roderick Strong, Michael Elgin and Truth Martini) in 10 minutes – Michael Elgin shakes all his opponents’ hands while Roderick kicks them away.

CHRISTOFF: I want Truth! Get your ass in here!

Truth feins a hamstring industry. Roderick grabs Christoff’s beard and slaps him in the face.

RODERICK: Come on, Christoff!

A collar-and-elbow-tie-up between Black Ice and Elgin leads nowhere, but it’s clear that Elgin respects Black Ice’s strength. Elgin can’t seem to overpower him, so he just knees him in the gut and follows up with shots. Ice is whipped into the buckle but charges out with a clothesline. Elgin pushes him back into the corner.

Roderick tags in by slapping Elgin’s chest. Mocking D-Line’s football player gimmick, Roderick mimics like he’s being hiked the ball, hesitates, then delivers a big chop.

Truth tag in. He slaps Black Ice’s chest, but hurts his hand. Roderick’s back in, but Black Ice hits a belly-to-back suplex. Two count. Black Ice holds Roderick in a sidewalk slam position while Bodysnatcher comes in and hits a jumping leg lariat.

Christoff tags in. He throws two turnbuckle thrusts into Roderick’s midsection. Roderick kicks him in the gut. He’s down, but fights back up. Strong kicks him in the gut again. As Christoff fights to regain his footing, Bodysnatcher smacks Roderick to the ground. Christoff starts throwing kicks, not great kicks, but he’s throwing them.

Bodysnatcher’s in. His spear towards the buckle misses. Roderick catches Bodysnatcher’s big boot, throws it outside the ring, kicks him in the groin and lands a big kick to the side of his head..

RODERICK: [signaling touchdown] It’s good!

Roderick kicks out Bodysnatcher’s knees. Elgin reluctantly tags in. He keeps working Bodysnatcher’s left knee.

CROWD: Let’s go D-Line! Let’s go D-Line!

Bodysnatcher fights out of Elgin’s submission maneuver. He fights for the tag, but Elgin cuts him off, slamming him down.

Truth’s in. He kicks at Bodysnatcher knee. As Bodysnatcher recovers Roderick quickly tags in and promptly dropkicks him right in the face. He applies the figure-four then tags Elgin in. Elgin pauses then tags Roderick back in. Bodysnatcher fights back but his knee is giving him a lot of trouble. Roderick puts him in figure four variation in which he applies additional horizontal pressure to the knee with his left foot (I don’t know what this is called).

Bodysnatcher eventually escapes and Black Ice makes the hot tag. He knocks down Roderick, Elgin, Roderick and clotheslines Elgin. He splashes Elgin in one corner then does the same to Roderick. D-Line assumes side-by-side three point stances and performs a double-spear on Elgin. Roderick charges but Bodysnatcher cuts him off with a reverse spin kick. Knee by Black Ice. Boot by Bodysnatcher. Roderick’s out of the ring and Truth gets pushed in. He’s surrounded by both members of D-Line.

TRUTH: Oh no! Oh no!

Bodysnatcher grabs his hair and tags in Christoff. A helicopter spin makes Truth dizzy. Black Ice kicks him in the gut. Christoff gives Truth double middle fingers and hits him with a stunner for the pin. Truth never even took off his sunglasses.

PersonalPro Wrestling

Why Do People Watch Pro Wrestling When They Know It’s Fake

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Earlier today I was asked the question, “Why do people enjoy professional wrestling when other things, like mixed martial arts, are real?”  I include below the response I wrote for Quora.

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This question presumes that the choice between MMA and WWE is an either/or proposition.  Despite sharing common elements, the two are distinctly different forms of entertainment and are appealing for different reasons.

MMA is a legitimate athletic sport, while professional wrestling is a form of entertainment. While MMA’s results are not predetermined, this can be either a blessing or a curse.  At best, mixed martial arts can be highly dramatic and unpredictable.  At worst, it can be drawn out, boring or over in a flash.

Professional wrestling offers an improvement over the MMA model – it has the artistic liberty to craft its own narrative.  If done well, there should never be a boring professional wrestling segment.

Furthermore, the creative domain of pro wrestling is large.  Unlike MMA, pro wrestling offers tag team matches, lucha libre-style bouts (i.e. highly acrobatic performances), hardcore matches, elaborate music/video/pyrotechnic displays and storyline developments that make heroes, villains, and underdogs out of its characters.

Some people are troubled by this.  They wonder how anyone can enjoy pro wrestling’s offerings when they know what they are seeing isn’t real.  Strangely, they seldom fret over the scripted nature of television, movies, novels or other similar works.  The key with all these art forms is the same – suspension of disbelief.  The only way to truly enjoy a performance is by allowing yourself to be sucked in by it.

My second response is that it is naïve to consider professional wrestling “fake.”  Not only must wrestlers possess real resilience and athleticism, but what is presented in arenas around the world is far more “real” than most people understand.

While the key storylines and finishes to matches are predetermined, what happens between the ropes is mostly improvised.  The effect is similar to that of improv comedy.  Two performers who understand the basic toolbox of their craft can play off each other, creating a completely original performance each time out.  In pro wrestling, as with comedy, becoming a master requires years of training and experience.

Connoisseurs of wrestling acknowledge these skills and are appreciative of seeing moves, counters and chains they never have before.  For many fans the “real” aspect of in-ring performance is more important than the scripted component of who wins and loses.   In most cases, the latter is a tool to enhance the former.

The best professional wrestlers not only know more moves than their MMA counterparts, but because wrestling is more a showcase than a pure competition, they are permitted more opportunity to display them.  For example, a top rope hurricanrana or a superkick are spectacles to behold in wrestling, but they, like many other moves, are unthinkable in MMA.  Again, people seldom seem concerned when similar actions occur in the context of, say, a Hollywood fight scene.

In MMA, the fighters who make it to the top of the card (ignoring political considerations) are generally the most skilled, but not necessarily the most entertaining.  The best professional wrestlers are not only tough and athletically gifted, but also can speak well on a microphone, have great innate charisma, and possess the underrated ability to tell a compelling story using in-ring psychology.

Fan involvement is more pronounced in professional wrestling.  If the fans chant for, buy the merchandise of, and generally support a particular performer, then WWE will, as a financially motivated company, push that performer higher up the card.  This ability to drive the trajectory of the product creates a level of fan involvement MMA doesn’t provide.  The pro wrestling business is a meritocracy, one in which fans are in control of who gets promoted.

I have also found the emotional connection fans have for their favorite wrestlers are often stronger than those they have for their favorite MMA fighters.  Starting as a kid, I watched one of my favorites, Shawn Michaels, on television every week for years, gradually becoming more invested in the character.

But over time, I began to appreciate that the best wrestlers are hardly characters at all (e.g. CM Punk), but are merely exaggerated versions of their real personas.  When I cheer as a fan, I am not only helping create a lively atmosphere, but I’m also expressing support to the performer behind the character.  When your favorites win, it’s a vindication of sorts.  It means that those who script the show see as much value in them as you do.  Whenever you get a chance to meet the wrestlers at events (which happens surprisingly often), it only serves to make that connection stronger.

And the thing is, when all of these pieces fall together in just the perfect combination, there is nothing better in the world than professional wrestling.  For those who want to experience this for themselves, I suggest you check out WWE’s Summer of Punk 2011 surrounding the Money in the Bank PPV and its main event match of the year.

Finally, for fans who are really in-the-know, pro wrestling websites offer backstage news that provides an entirely new dimension to the business.  For example, in late March 2012, news broke that former UFC champion Brock Lesnar was in negotiations to return to WWE.  This built fans’ hopes and anticipation for an imminent return.  Trying to predict when it will occur and under what circumstances can be just as much fun as the matches themselves.

For another example, consider the case of WWE Superstar Daniel Bryan.  After winning and defending the title for months in weaselly ways, this undersized but exceptionally skilled wrestler defended, and lost, his World Heavyweight Championship in near record time at Wrestlemania 28.  As a big fan of Daniel Bryan, I was intrigued by how WWE would choose to present him at the show, an aspect distinct from his actual performance.

After the loss, I can’t help but wonder about the backstage politics that led to the title change.  Has the company lost faith in him or was this done just for shock value?  Is the fact that the new champion’s first defense is against another returning Superstar suggestive of the fact that Bryan’s time is over?  I don’t know how things will shake out for him, but I can’t wait to find out.

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